This week I’ve been working on reclaiming my vocal power. After turning in my two-week’s notice last week, I suddenly felt a huge sense of freedom lifted from my sense of self-expression. For years I’ve been employed in positions that were extremely public-facing. This is expected for someone with a Public Relations degree. The problem with this is that while representing the image of a company or a community, I often go to extreme measures to hide my own image, so as not to misrepresent my employer. On a deeper note, I’m realizing that this has been an easy way for me to keep my mouth shut on things I’m passionate about, ignore my own freedom of expression and keep my opinions safely hidden away from others.
This is a thread through my whole life. I’m always the listener for others. Always allowing someone to vent, always helping others when I’m fully exhausted and really craving my own space. The problem with chronic people-pleasing is that you often lose your own sense of power and truth in the process. I’ve been so caught up in representing and assisting others that I have quite literally lost focus of what’s truly important to me. Maybe you can relate, soul sister (or brother). Do you find yourself over-giving to others to the point that you aren’t nourishing yourself enough?
The problem with chronic people-pleasing is that you often lose your own sense of power and truth in the process.
The thought of actually speaking out about the business of my dreams I’m building brings me so much joy! The idea that I can actually share my excitement to transition into the next chapter of my life is thrilling! My oh, my how I’ve missed the unmonitored vessel of expression. The last time I shared freely was back in 2012, before I quit college. I was blogging my heart out, speaking to youth groups and teaching my peers. I was totally fulfilled and beaming with joy. When others did not care for this joy and in fact discouraged it, I seemed to shut up, fall into place and strive, strive, strive to fit into what was expected of me.
This includes things you might also do. Things like:
NOT sharing the full details of a very happy story, so as not to make the other person feel bad about their own life
NOT posting all the fun things you do on social media because you fear others will be jealous
NOT sharing your travel plans for fear of hurting someone else’s feelings
Here’s the truth I’ve uncovered for me lately:
All of these thoughts are baloney! They are merely excuses to keep yourself small and “safe.” Here’s the skinny though, in the process of staying small and “safe”, you’re not only dimming your own light, but you’re also dimming the light of others. You’re asking them to stay small with you.
For example, I have a few friends who every time I’m around them all we do is complain. We complain about our jobs, we complain about our other friends and we complain about where we are in life. All of this complaining bonds us, or so we think. But when I leave those friends, I feel drained, negative and downright irritated with life.
Let me ask you something. Is this the spark you were meant to put into the world? Irritation, negativity and drained energy?
How much difference could you make in your life and the lives of those around you simply by choosing to embrace and fully express JOY?
I’ve already admitted that I hold back a lot of joyful expression in attempts to fit in with those around me. I’ve been rejected for being too joyful many a time in my life and so I fear it will happen again.
I mask myself with happiness, and in doing so cover up my true joy.
Happiness and joy are not the same. One comes from surface level emotions, the other comes from deep within your soul.
Joyful people are deeply fulfilled and don’t shy away from expressing true gratitude for every area of their life. Rather than complaining about what’s wrong, they go on and on about what’s going well. If you’re like me, you may fear that speaking about what you love in your life will turn others off. That may be true, but it certainly won’t make them feel worse about themselves. If anything, it may show them how possible joy is.
We’ve all criticized the person beaming on Facebook about how magical their life is. But why? Why do we shame them rather than lift them up? Who cares if they have other faults, other issues, other hidden things. We should be ecstatic that they chose to put positivity into the world. We should thank them for sharing smiles! We should express our gratitude for their vulnerability in sharing joy.
Let’s get personal. Where in your life are you dimming your light or shying away from your fullest expression in an attempt to fit in or keep others “safe”?
What’s one event or experience you can post on social media this week as an exercise in fully expression joy or appreciation for something in your life?
As you think about posting this thing, notice if you feel shy or fearful of the reactions of others. Why do you feel afraid to share the good things life has blessed you with? How can you clear away this old fearful pattern and step into boldly embracing joy more fully?
This week’s affirmation: “It is safe for me to fully and completely express my joy with others.”
This affirmation is coupled with the idea that you are deeply grounded within yourself, deeply stable in your own identity and deeply ready to step into more joy. In doing so you will inevitably attract MORE JOY, abundance, love and prosperity into your life. Don’t believe me? Watch and see the comments, reactions and heart emojis you get after posting something joyful. Take a screenshot and send them to me in an email or post in The Sparkling Hippie’s Facebook group – this will share your joy with even more people!
Here’s to boldly stepping into expressing your joy!